Hey guys, remember when you couldn’t talk to girls? I’ve been reminded recently about an old issue I had when I was much younger. “HOW DO YOU TALK TO GIRLS!!?!?!?!?!?!?” I kinda smile when I think about it. I’m by no means a Casanova or anything, but it seems silly now to worry about how to talk to women. It’s definitely an immature place to be, though it’s understandable and by no means a bad thing. It just means you have room to grow. If by chance you are unsure of how to talk to women, the secret is you have to talk to them. About anything really.
Maybe this is a game changer for you, but women are people. Simple, but a lot of guys like to put women on a pedestal. We like to think of them as perfect, better than us. Talking to women can make us really nervous! And don’t get me started on dating. And I say “we” because while I’m certainly confident in social situations for the most part, I still get nervous sometimes.
The idolization of women is in stark contradiction to the powerfully negative aspect of masculine culture which values men over women, but is still harmful. It can make it difficult for some men to interact with women. This is because we see women as better than us, as superior. It may seem flattering to women, but for men it can be crippling.
Let me explain why. For starters, guys who like girls can feel unworthy, or a lack of confidence. Feelings of inferiority for either sex makes it difficult to interact with the opposite sex (or in some cases same-sex). Feelings of inferiority can lead to anxieties while feeling superior can lead to entitlement.
Instead, of idolizing men or women, remember that we are all flawed and imperfect individuals. It’s okay to be imperfect and the more you see the other person as normal, the easier it will be to talk to them. Another thing that helps me is to downplay saying stupid things. I used to worry a lot about what I said to women. I still try to watch myself, but if I say something stupid or weird or whatever, it’s not the end of the world. Once you get to know a person, you should feel comfortable to say whatever you want really.
I used to say, think of an attractive woman as being like one of your guy friends. Don’t see her as someone “unobtainable,” just treat her like you would with one of your good friends. Respect and a little confidence goes a long way.