Last week I played Minecraft ALOT. Possibly almost too much, but to be fair I hadn’t really played the game much for the last couple of years. Minecraft is the kind of game that you can play for hours at a time until you run out of ideas to build things. For me, I play a lot when I have a cool idea for a project in the game. The last thing I did was build a residential area in my town and wall it up. Now my villagers are pretty safe.
SDBmania Land is quite a sight, if you ever get to see it (which you can if you want to watch hours of YouTube videos). I’ve built up a nice size town, added a nether tunnel, killed stuff, and ventured in the nether world (hence the tunnel). Not to mention I have a kick ass mine cart track and partial subway. 🙂
My “binge” was the result of anxiety over driving with Lyft. It’s a slow process, but I’m getting more comfortable with it. I plan to drive at least part-time to start, but if I get really serious with it I’m likely to buy a used Prius to save on gas. Right now the Escape I drive gets about 19 mpg, which isn’t bad, but not great either.
Minecraft wonderfully distracted me from my anxiety last week when I went back to driving with Lyft. I’ve been using a slow and steady plan to get me used to driving more. Last week I took a day off in between drives with the exception of last weekend. So far, I’ve driven two days in a row this week, working towards making that 5 days in a row.
Thankfully, I’m not in a situation where I have panic attacks, so this level of anxiety isn’t too bad. It lessens a bit with each drive and now I don’t feel as tired afterwards. I’m also fighting against my old lifestyle. Being out of work for so many years, even with school and volunteering in between, I got used to not having anything I had to do all day. So, getting back to work is part of the process, though it’s not as difficult as the anxiety.
Most of the anxiety contains a few things, like insecurity, uncertainty, and worrying if I can do the job. I still usually don’t know who I am going to pickup or where I will go until it’s all set in stone, but the insecurity and worrying part is slowing being replaced with the confidence that I can do it. I’m not a great driver, but I’m safe and so far no one has complained. If this is the norm, with the occasional bad experience, I think this could become my job. I’m optimistic. I’ve been doing just one ride a day. Last week was 3 days a week, this week 5 days, and next week I intend to drive more than one person. Ideally I want to drive in the mornings so I get it out of the way.
Sometimes I feel like this is taking too long, but knowing my history, I think I’m doing it the right way. It’s not going to be another month until I am driving more often. This way, I’m able to give myself a chance to adjust and face my anxieties without pushing myself too hard. I think it’s a good balance. And really, it’s not going to be much longer until I am driving 4 or more hours a day. That’s something to smile about.